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What do you think?

TaffyApple

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So I know this lady whose husband does not work due to a medical condition that is not his fault. He is limited on what he can do as if he does too much, his illness puts him down.

He does do quite a bit around the house to help. However, there are times when I have been there that he makes it seem like she does not do anything.

She works two jobs and helps as much as she can around the house. But he expects a lot out of her. She pays all the bills, makes all the appointments, as well as other stuff.

I really do not envy her.

When I was there the other day, he said to her see if you had just done that the first time I told you, we would not have to worry about it.

My question is how come he can't do it? If he is home, let that be one of his tasks for the day. But he will then throw it in her face, I did this and this and this. I can't. I am starting to hurt.

I know he hurts, but how is this fair to her? She has a few health issues as well, but rarely do those get brought up because she doesn't feel they are as important as his.
 

Silver Surfer

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So I know this lady whose husband does not work due to a medical condition that is not his fault. He is limited on what he can do as if he does too much, his illness puts him down.

He does do quite a bit around the house to help. However, there are times when I have been there that he makes it seem like she does not do anything.

She works two jobs and helps as much as she can around the house. But he expects a lot out of her. She pays all the bills, makes all the appointments, as well as other stuff.

I really do not envy her.

When I was there the other day, he said to her see if you had just done that the first time I told you, we would not have to worry about it.

My question is how come he can't do it? If he is home, let that be one of his tasks for the day. But he will then throw it in her face, I did this and this and this. I can't. I am starting to hurt.

I know he hurts, but how is this fair to her? She has a few health issues as well, but rarely do those get brought up because she doesn't feel they are as important as his.
That is a difficult question and very hard to answer if you don't know the people. It is sometimes very strange with couples whereby an outsider has certain thoughts, but the couple itself thinks differently. It was a bit like that with my parents, where my dad saw my mother as some sort of a waittress and cook and sometimes people would comment on it. But the strange thing was, that both were sort of happy in their roles. My mother would get upset if my dad tried to get his own coffee.

I think in your case it depends on wether they are reasonably happy with the way things are going or if she resents the current situation. There are couples that are only happy if they can moane and that makes them happy somehow.

If your ladyfriend is really unhappy about her life she should obviously talk to him, but I can also imagine that it must be frustrating on his part that he can't do more and that's maybe why he makes that sort of remarks.

My thoughts are that there are always two sides to a coin and they must be in a relationship because they want to be and nobody forced them, so it's up to them to work it out between them.
 

TaffyApple

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Very well said Silver surfer. How you stated it does make sense. I would not want to be in a position like that. I know that her husband can only do so much. It has to be frustrating for both of them and I guess that I am only seeing part of it.
 

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